Homo Terrapins
by Mikey's Kunoichi
Summary: This was Cowritten by Goddess of Idun. The turtles find a mysterious item while roaming the sewers, and it drastically changes their life. Turtle turned Human Fic.
1. Chapter 1

This is a co-written fic, thought up by Mikey's Kunoichi (MK). Goddess of Idun is grateful that MK accepted her offer to help and really hopes that she won't screw up.

MK is grateful that Goddess of Idun (Idun) offered to help, and knows she won't screw up.

Disclaimer: The TMNT are property of Mirage Studios, and not us. But we guess that wasn't so hard to figure out.

* * *

**Prologue: Facere nos homines**

"Geez, Leo, can't ya go any faster? Angel's Gramma drives faster than what you're doin' now!" Raphael grouched from the back seat. Leonardo ground his teeth and stopped the Sewer Slider.

"Tell you what, Raph; I'll just let you drive since you're _obviously_ an expert!" Leo stood, his fists clenched. Raph grinned maniacally.

"Finally, he admits it!" Raph slid into the driver seat and cracked his knuckles. Donatello frowned at him. "You know, Raph, it's a proven study that cracking your knuckles causes arthritis. So if you wanna be able to spin those Sais in thirty or so years, you'd be wise to stop right now."

Michelangelo snorted from the passenger seat "Raph? Wise? Since when has Raph ever been wise?" He ducked to avoid Raph's attempt to slap him.

"Shuddup, Mikey." Raph turned the keys into the ignition and slammed down the gas pedal "Here we go!"

Mikey groaned as he shot forward to as far as the seat belt allowed him "Smart Leo, let Raph drive. Splinter drives better than him."

* * *

"Raph, stop!" Leo cried. "That's the 10th piece of driftwood you've managed to hit. Let Mikey drive." Mikey rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"Whoa! Look at that!" Don exclaimed, pointing at a scroll that was floating down the sewer. He reached in and grabbed it. "Amazing! It isn't even the least bit damp! I wonder if it has some kind of water resistant coating?"

Raph looked over his shoulder "You're right; it doesn't even have a drop of water on it."

Mikey grabbed it. "Oooh, it's got some thing written on it! '_Facere nos homines'_. What does that mean, Donny-o?"

"It means 'make us human', shell for brains."

The green teens sat, suddenly feeling light headed and drowsy. Mikey was the last to succumb to slumber's wishes, but not without one final remark.

"I didn't know it was naptime."

* * *

Don yawned, and stood with a stretch. He looked at his now stirring brothers. Something wasn't right with them. He looked down at his own two hands.

"Aaaaah!" he exclaimed. Leo quickly jumped up, katanas drawn.

"What is it?" he asked, before his jaw dropped "Don, what…?"

Don inhaled slowly. "_Facere nos homines_. Make us human…it made us human!"

* * *

Da da DUM! Exciting, eh? Stay tuned!

MK and Idun


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter one, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: We don't own them, but Mirage Studios do. Please don't sue us. All should worship the superior wisdom of Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman. Chant with me…

"All hail Peter Laird! All hail Kevin Eastman!" Don't forget to use appropriate movements while saying this.

**Chapter 1:**

Donnie closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. He saw three human boys. One golden blonde hair, one a carrot red-head and one black haired. Their weapons told him that the blonde was Leo, the guy with the black hair was Raph and the one with the flaming red hair was Mikey. He noted that his own hair was light brown and quite long – for being a boy, that is. Their bodies, he saw, they were well muscled, more so then many teenagers their age.

Leo lowered his katanas. "But… but… this is… I…" He sank down again, staring at his now five-fingered hands.

Raph started to wake up. "Unh… what happened?" He blinked at the sight of a teen boy, looking confused and peering at a lock of his brown hair. In less than a second, he was on his feet and had drawn his sais. "Who the shell are you?"

"Raph, wait!" Before the boy could say another word, he was pushed up against the sewer wall, a sai pointed to his throat. "Now kiddo, what have ya done to my bros? Ya better not have hurt them or I'll –"

"Raph! Raph, it's me, Don!"

The hot-tempered ninja hesitated. "What…?" Suddenly, he found a katana guiding his sai away. He turned his head and saw a blonde boy. There was something familiar about him, but he couldn't put his finger on it…

"It's us, Raphael. I'm Leo, that's Donny and Mikey's over there. I know it's weird…"

"That's an understatement," Donny mumbled.

Raph opened his mouth and closed it again, making him resemble a goldfish. "But… wha… I… how…?"

In that moment, Mikey yawned and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and opened them. The first thing he saw was a light-haired boy saying: "Now Mikey, try not to freak out, but we have been turned into humans."

Michelangelo frowned and looked around without saying a word. Then he looked down at his own pink body.

"Okay, I am still dreaming. The freakiest dream I've ever had, if I may say so. I'm going back to sleep, and when I wake up, everything will be back to normal." He lay down again and closed his eyes.

His older brothers looked at each other. Then Raph stepped forward and shook Mikey's shoulder. "C'mon Mikey, wake up! This ain't no joke!" All that happened was that Mikey squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and mumbled: "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, you're just a figment of my imagination, I'm dreaming…"

"'Figment of my imagination'?" Donny mumbled. "Those are some big words for being Mikey…"

"I resent that, figment," Mikey said.

"Mikey, ya ain't dreamin' an' we ain't figures of yer imagination. So get yer arse up!" Raph growled, as he hit Mikey upside the head.

"Ow! I'm not supposed to get hurt in my dreams! I'm supposed to be like a marshmallow, all soft and fluffy. That means…" A look of awe washed over his face while he rubbed his sore head "Yikes! We really are humans!"

Leo sat down in the passenger seat. His ice blue eyes showed confusion, as did Raph's oak brown, Donny's stormy grey and Mikey's emerald green. "Now that Mikey is awake and convinced that we are humans…What are we going to do?"

"Well, we can't go to April's…Not dressed like we are," Donny gestured down toward his clothing…or his lack of. His brothers were too deep in though to notice the sly glint that had appeared in Mikey's eyes, or the mischievous smile that flitted across his lips.

"But we are dressed…" His brothers all jerked their heads up, their eyes upon him "…in our birthday suits." The groans of the three older brothers filled the sewer.

"That was a bad joke, Mike," Raph said. He folded his arm against his chest "I say we go ta Casey's, an' swipe summa his clothes." Leo nodded.

Leo nodded "I agree. For now, we'll go to Casey's." Raph plopped down in the drivers' seat of the sewer slider, and slammed his foot down onto the gas pedal.

"I thought it was my turn to drive!" Mikey yelled, clutching the back of the passenger seat.

"Tough," Raph replied. Leo turned to look at Donny, who was sweeping his hand under his seat.

"What are you doing, Don?" He asked. Donny stopped looking under the drivers' seat to glance at his brother.

"I was looking for that scroll, but I can't find it anywhere in the sewer slider. I guess it fell into the sewer water when we fell asleep."

"Ouch."

Please review! It'd mean a lot to two Donny and Mikey fans. Plus, MK will give you a virtual cookie, any kind you like, and Idun will give you a big bear hug! You cannot say no to that, can you? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Here we are again! Sorry about the delay. It is mostly Idun's fault, since she hogged the whole thing to herself for at least a couple of months without really doing anything with it.

Disclaimer: They're not ours. **_No matter how much we want them. _**Which is A LOT!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Casey Jones was watching a wrestling match on ESPN, when some one rapped on the window.

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

"Aww, not now! This is just getting exciting!" he grumbled, and decided not to bother getting up. If one of the guys was out there, they could wait. If it was important business, they would come back later, and if it wasn't, there was nothing to worry about, right? He took a sip from the beer can in his hand and continued watching the screen.

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

Casey frowned, but ignored the noise nonetheless.

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

He wouldn't let them interrupt his game…

_BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG_

"AUGH!" he exclaimed and went to open the window. _This had better be good!_ He threw the window open, and was on his way to roar "WHAT IS IT?" but didn't really get all the way.

"WHAT - …?"

Outside of his window, standing one the fire escape, stood four teenage boys in their starkers. They scurried past him into the apartment and closed the window quickly.

"What the – who the hell are you? Get outta here and go home to mummy!"

"Casey, it's us! We need your help!" one of the boys hurried to say. He had a bit frantic look in his blue eyes and his blonde hair was tousled.

"Us who? I haven't hung out with guys yer age since high school!"

"Not really true…" another muttered. His red-haired head was smacked from behind by the black-haired one.

"Us turtles, Casey, that's who! Raph, Leo, Mikey and Donnie!"

Casey raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, right. Those dudes are mutated turtles and –"

The boy with the black hair suddenly pushed him up against the wall, His brown eyes hard, but pleading. "Listen, ya bonehead, if ya don't believe us, then ask us somethin'. Anythin'. Somethin' that only we'd know about."

"Fine, but let go of me first" Casey agreed, pushing the teen away from him. The kid stepped back. "Umm…What's tha name of that Rhino that calls me Soro or sumthin' like that?"

The red headed one grew upset "You mean the Rhino that travels with the large bunny called Usagi? The one that could eat a turtle out of house and home? The one that stole my comic books? The one that…" He was cut off by the brown haired boys hand covering his mouth.

"Mikey, that's enough! You've made your point! That the rhino that calls Casey _Saru_ is Gen." He said. The kid called Mikey glared at the brown haired kid. Seconds later, he withdrew his hand with a cry.

"Mikey! That is disgusting!" He exclaimed, wiping his drool covered hand onto his friend – er brother's- shoulder. The red head stuck his tongue out.

"Okay, so you guys are the turtles. What happened?" Casey said, raking his hand through his hair and sitting down on the beat up leather arm chair.

"We'll tell you later…But first, Can we borrow some clothes?" The brown haired one asked.

Casey blushed beat red "Uhh…Yeah, Sure."

**xX TMNT Xx**

5 minutes later, the turtles – er, boys - finished pulling shirts over their heads.

"Thanks Case," the black haired one said.

"Anytime. Just one question, though." Casey responded.

"What?"

"Which one are you?"

The black haired kid smacked his forehead, and the blonde stepped in to answer the question.

"That's Raph. The one with the brown hair is Donny, I'm Leo and the red head is Mikey."

"Okie Dokey… What happened to you guys?" Casey said, taking a swig of his beer.

"Uhhh…I'll leave Donny to explain that."

"Yo Donny!" Casey called, setting his beer down.

"What?"

"What happened to you guys?"

"As best as I can figure, we found a scroll with three Latin words on it. They were 'facere nos homines' translated; they mean 'make us human'. And then we all fell asleep, and we woke up like this…" Donny explained, gesturing to his body.

"Okay…"

"You don't understand what I just said, do you?"

"Yea – No."

"Thought not."

Mikey bounded into the room "Hey you guys, I just thought of something."

Leo looked at him "What?"

"What about Master Splinter?"

"Oh crud."

**xX TMNT Xx**

At that moment, Splinter was worried. He had been trying to reach his sons on their telephones for the past hour, with no response. So, he set off into the sewer tunnels to look for them, his concern mounting with each second that he didn't find them. Sniffing carefully for the faint scent of oil from the Sewer Slider, he travelled further away from the lair, glancing at the water for any hint of where his sons might be. Something white caught his eye as it was drifting through the water. He quickly found a stick to grab it out of the dirty water with. It was a scroll. What was amazing was that there was not a speck of dirt on it. He unfurled it and read the neatly printed words on it.

Deciding he should go back to the lair and see if his sons had returned, he tucked the scroll into his robe, and made his way back to his home.

As he entered the lair, he retrieved the scroll from his robe and set it on the table, before he picked up the telephone and made an effort to contact his sons once again.

**xX TMNT Xx**

The sound of the Mission Impossible theme song reverberated through the sewer tunnels as the cell phone the ring tone belonged to floated with the murky water. The water surrounding it rippled as the phone shook. A passing rat looked curiously at the thing, and after dragging it out of the water, took it to its den.

**xX TMNT Xx**

"_Hi Dude or Dudette, whoever is calling me. Sorry I'm not available, I'm either A) partying or B) trying not to get killed or C) Too lazy to pick up the phone. Leave a message after the beep goes off. Thanks!!"_

"Michelangelo! This is your father. Come home at once! I have been trying to reach you and your brothers for over an hour!" With those final words, Splinter hung up. Looking at the scroll, he went to Donatello's study to find a book on Latin translations. Selecting a particularly thick tome, he carried it out to the table to decipher the phrase.

"Facere….Facere…Facere…Aha! Facere! Facere: Latin for make." He scribbled it down on a piece of paper, before returning to look through the books "Me…Me." Again, a pause, filled with the sounds of pencil lead on paper "Homines…Human. Facere Nos Homines- Make Me Human."

Several minutes later, Splinter was asleep.

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Da da DUM! Exciting, eh? Now, all you need to do is press the little purple button below and write a nice review for us.

Until next time,

MK and Idun


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